Julie Dennert Doula

April 21, 2010

Doulas are socially unreliable.  Over the last six years, my friends have learned this about me, and they generously put up with my unpredictable schedule. I’m not a reliable carpool mom; if it’s my turn to drive, I may or may not be there. I’m a less than consistent party guest. I’ve also been an absentee party hostess. I cancel appointments at the orthodontist at the last minute. My kids always have a “Plan B” in case I’m not around. If plans are being made and events organized, my RSVP usually consists of, “I’ll be there…unless I’m not.”

The job of being a doula is a unique one. Officially, we provide emotional, physical, and informational support for laboring mothers. We try to be a reassuring and consistent source of support during the labor process, which is by nature intense and sometimes overwhelming. Doulas are women who have been trained and are experienced in providing labor support. We are able to make suggestions to the families we work with as to how they might work together during labor, what positions might be comfortable and help with relaxation. Because of our experience, we are able to reassure parents that things are going well and that what is happening during labor is normal. Additionally, doulas can help parents collect information that they may need to make decisions about their care and/or the care of their new baby. 

At Columbia Center, there is always a doula on call. When an expectant family registers for the doula program, they can be assured that when they arrive in labor, a doula will be available to support them during the entire process. As doulas, our job is not to come in with our own ideas about a family’s birth experience, but to support the mother and her partner in whatever they feel will make this “birth day” a good experience for them. The hope is that a mother feels that her wishes are being heard, and that our staff does our best to accommodate those wishes whenever possible.

Because labor can begin at any time, doula work is never predictable. When we are on call, we are never far from our phones, and we always expect it to ring. In fact, we want it to ring, even if it’s the middle of the night. We don’t work anything close to “bankers’ hours.” We work weekends, nights, and holidays. Sometimes our workday is only two hours long and sometimes it’s thirty hours long. We always have our work clothes, shoes and a toothbrush in the car.  We can alter our travel routes to account for traffic and we know when the roads are under construction. We can sleep just about anywhere. 

The payoff for this unpredictable lifestyle is that we are invited into the lives of families on what is one of the most important days of their lives.  We get to know our clients during the time we spend with them, and each one becomes special to us.  Each family and each baby gets added to our memory bank as a day we saw a miracle happen. No matter what, birth is life changing and doulas see it as our privilege to be there and share in the moment. To some, it may seem odd to invite a stranger into your life during such an intense and vulnerable time. However, it isn’t long before the doula doesn’t feel like a stranger anymore. A doula acts as a guide and anchor for the family. Our hope as doulas is that we can protect the mother in her vulnerability, and help her to feel strong in her birth experience.

In over six years of being a doula and over 100 births, I have never come home from a day at work feeling that it was the same day as the one before. There is no “same old, same old” in doula work. Every day, every mother, every family is unique and different. Every birth is different in some way from the one before. Yes, we come home tired and sometimes emotionally worn out, but we never come home saying “nothing new happened at work today.” There is always something new or something special. So sure, I don’t often get the house cleaned, the laundry done, or the lawn mowed. I may not get to my exercise class; get the Target-run in, or the dentist appointments made, but it’s worth it, because I get to be there when a new family is born. The laundry can wait.