Not just another day: How to make childbirth an experience you want to remember

Diane Oakland, IBCLC Family Education and Support Coordinator, Lactation Consultant

February 01, 2005

Giving birth is a special occasion. It should feel like one. Yet, our society has come to look at birth as a medical experience.

Not so fast, we want to tell them. Having a baby is to experience one of life’s most remarkable, unforgettable experiences. The day of your child’s birth is a day like no other. That’s why the mother should be empowered to plan for a childbirth experience that meets her needs.  

The childbirth experience has a long-lasting impact on the physical, mental and emotional health of both mother and child. Memories of childbirth last for a lifetime. When the experience is positive, a new mother marvels at her strength and abilities. When memories are negative, she may face her first days as a parent feeling inadequate. It’s easy to see how the new mother’s feelings about the birth experience might affect her parenting or her attitude toward her child.

Why not make it the best possible experience for everyone involved? That’s our approach. We have found that by paying attention to the desires of the mother and her partner, the birth experience most closely matches the family’s hopes and expectations.

It all starts with mothering the mother. How? By respecting and honoring the mother’s choices regarding her birth experience. It means asking her about her hopes for this special moment. What labor support does she want? A labor tub, a massage, the comfort of loved ones on hand to share the moment?

If the mother is to create the birth experience, she needs good information. That’s why she needs care providers who will provide her information and work with her to make the best choices for her and her baby. In many hospitals around the country, childbirth is treated as a medical condition rather than a natural process.

Giving birth has a significant emotional component that needs to be recognized. Having a doula to provide support for a woman’s emotional needs is a proven way to enhance the experience. A doula is a trained, knowledgeable woman who provides continuous physical (though not medical), emotional and informational support to a mother before, during and just after childbirth.

A doula accompanies a woman in labor and stays by her side. She provides emotional support, serves as an advocate and a listening ear. She suggests comfort measures and helps the woman’s partner participate to the degree that the person feels comfortable. For as long as women have given birth, there have been other experienced women who have played this role. Today many people do not have the luxury of having extended family members or friends available for support. A doula can be helpful in meeting that need.

Studies have found-that a doula’s presence at birth:
  • Tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications
  • Reduces negative feelings about ones’ childbirth experience
  • Reduces the need for pitocin (a labor inducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction, and
  • Reduces the need for pain medication, epidurals or cesareans

We’re not talking about putting the comfort of the mother ahead of the needs of the baby. Research shows paying attention to the mother’s psychological, emotional and physical needs benefits the baby as well. The goal is always to create a safe and healthy birth experience for both mother and child. It should be a memorable and empowering experience as well.