January 02, 2006

One of my most precious possessions is a scrapbook my mother made. It is filled with the gift cards from wellwishers welcoming me to the world. On the back of each card, she recorded what the gift was. I have taken them out over the years, flipping each over to read my mother’s notes. What a gift that is to me, evidence that my birth was celebrated.

A baby’s birth is a monumental occasion, one that should be celebrated and recorded. A new life is entering the world, a new member to the family. That’s true whether it’s a first or a fifth child.

As your baby grows, there’ll be many milestones and experiences to record. Saving the memories of your baby’s beginnings will give your child insights into what his early life was like. It also provides your child with an opportunity to know you better.

So many ways
Parents today have many options for recording babyhood memories. A few I’ve heard about are:

• Creating diaries for your children
• Blogging
• Keeping a calendar
• Scrapbooking
• Making memory boxes

Parents will want to find the approach that best suits their lifestyle and that creates a keepsake they believe their child will appreciate.

Whatever you choose, it is best to have a plan in place before birth. The first year of a child’s life is demanding. It is a time of adjustment for the whole family. Parents are also often dealing with sleep deprivation. That means you are likely to forget some of the moments you’d like to remember. If you’re ready to record them as they happen, you’ll capture those precious moments to enjoy for years to come.

Journaling
Many women today are aware of the benefits of journaling. In our busy lives, journaling gives us a moment to slow down and reflect. Keeping a diary for a child gives a mother the opportunity to reflect on that child and organize her thoughts. For some people, journaling is a valuable process for understanding our feelings and working through issues we may otherwise not take time to consider.

In a diary for your child, the blank pages provide an opportunity for you to not only preserve experiences, but also to reveal more of yourself. One mother I know bought attractive, cloth-covered artist’s sketchbook with big, unlined pages each time she had a baby. Each of these became a special place to record memories for that child. Each entry is dated and written as a letter. It is filled with sweet memories, pearls of wisdom and good wishes. All are signed, “Love, Mom.” She plans to give each child his diary when he is old enough to appreciate the insights she offers, maybe when they each get ready to start a family of their own, she says.

One benefit of a journal is that are no rules. Some parents choose to write when something important happens — a first tooth, a first step or a first birthday. Others write whenever the fancy strikes. One mother of three decided the best approach would be to write an annual letter to each of her children, recapping their personal milestones and the wonderful things they are doing each year and sharing her own thoughts and feelings on why they are so loved.

You can start your baby’s journal well before his or her arrival. During your pregnancy, you may want to record your hopes and dreams for your baby, or document your experiences of carrying your baby in the womb. I’ve seen Dad’s making notes during labor of details he would like to include in baby’s diary.

After birth, new mothers often ask our nurses about their memories of the birth so they can add details to their journals. Some ask for the name of the attending nurse and add it to the baby’s diary. A birthing mother is distracted, to say the least. We’re always very happy to help recall details and we encourage mothers to feel free to ask. Many mothers want to have a complete birth story. Nurses are in a good position to help you capture it.

As the years go by, journaling parents often find their entries move away from the rather sweet, superficial descriptions of family life that made everyday seem like a day with the Brady bunch. Letting children know what life was really like may help them one day when they hit a rough spot in their own family lives. They will also know their parents and siblings, as well as themselves, in deeper, more intimate ways than we can often communicate in our daily, frantic lives.

One family I met kept a memory book, which they passed around. Whenever a big family event happened — a birth, a move, a wedding, a death — they passed around the memory book and all the family members wrote about the event from their perspectives.

The development of web-based journaling, or blogging, presents a whole host of opportunities. New parents may journal online, download photographs and video, and quickly send off updates on baby’s news to multiple relatives and friends.

Keeping a calendar
Journaling is not for everyone. Many busy parents appreciate the simple, quick records a calendar helps them keep. Columbia Center’s Patient Education and Support Specialist Diane Oakland found that hanging a wall calendar in the baby’s room worked best for her. It was prominent and handy for jotting notes on all the little milestones or fun things that happened. She bought a calendar for each new year to continue her abbreviated journaling. Because she saw it several times a day, it proved easy to keep up to date.

A few years ago, a card company came out with a calendar especially made for baby’s first year. Stickers for important events, like baby’s first bath or first haircut, made keeping a memory calendar even easier.

Scrapbooking
My daughter-in-law is creating a scrapbook for my granddaughter. She has done an amazing job of capturing all the milestones and adding creative embellishment to each page. It will no doubt be a treasured gift to my granddaughter. Every time she looks at that memory book, she’ll get a glimpse of how much she is loved.

Many new mothers want to start their scrapbooks right away, with newborn pictures. Nurses at Columbia Center are often asked to snap a picture of the whole family with their new baby, and we are more than happy to capture that first moment together for our families.

Just as a calendar can work as an abbreviated diary, the quick version of the scrapbook is a memory box. Just decorate a box (a shoe box is usually a good size). You may want to put a current picture of your child and the year on the outside and create a new box each year. Or you may use a bigger box for multiple years. Either way, fill it with mementos – a lock of hair from the first haircut or a baby shoe. As your child grows, the keepsakes will reflect his developing interests.

The keeping of memories is a great gift to oneself, as well as to the children. In a few years, you’ll revisit these reservoirs of life’s moments and be amazed at how quickly your baby has grown.